Baby is on the way and you have some big news to share with your family, friends, and colleagues! Let’s talk about why people wait to share, who to tell first, and some clever ways to share the news.
Why People Wait
When you have news as big as this, you want to shout it from the rooftops and post it on every social media platform! But, what are some things to consider about the timing?
There are many reasons people wait to share their good news: wanting to savor the secret, worrying about miscarriage, concerns about how people will accept the news, implications at work, and making sure key people hear the news before the rest of the world.
Some doctors recommend waiting to share the news until the end of the first trimester (around 13 weeks) as the risk of miscarriage decreases with each week of pregnancy.
You may want to wait for the end of the first trimester or until you hit other early-pregnancy milestones like the first lub-dub of the baby’s heart on a doppler monitor (around 8 weeks), your first ultrasound, or when your baby “bump” is visible.
On the other hand, sharing the news early can build a support system. You might find this extremely helpful, especially if you are experiencing morning sickness and fatigue, feeling anxious about aspects of pregnancy, or showing physical signs. Hiding a pregnancy can be an extra, unnecessary burden.
When to tell is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer!
Who to Tell First
When it comes to telling family and friends, a little planning can be good. Close friends and family might want to hear the news from you personally. And, sharing with those closest to you first also ensures they can give you the support and encouragement you need from the start.
Also, give special consideration to the people in your life who have struggled with infertility or have lost a baby. No doubt, they will be happy for you, but they might feel sad for themselves or not be able to show their happiness like your other friends. Consider telling them in private before you share with everyone else.
Finally, take your work situation into consideration. What policies are in place and what are your plans once your baby is born? Are there aspects of your job you won’t be able to perform during pregnancy? You probably want to let your employer hear the news directly from you, so take this into consideration when determining the timing. Once you’ve told your boss or supervisor, then let your colleagues in on the excitement.
Clever Ways to Share the News
Now that we have discussed who and when, how will you tell people? Sit them down and tell them? Make a phone call? Set up a family dinner, scavenger hunt or a Zoom call? These methods are right on for the people closest to you—how about when you are ready to tell the whole world?
Whether it’s a social media post or a card sent through snail mail, consider a fun photo featuring your ultrasound pics, your toddler in a “I’m the big sister” shirt, or a trio of items to announce your first baby—two pairs of shoes+baby shoes, 2 water bottles+baby bottle, or 2 books+a picture book. I had a friend expecting her 13th baby, and she shared the news with a series of “13” pictures on Facebook: 13 coffee mugs, 13 Christmas lights, 13 sugar cookies, 13 eggs . . . it didn’t take long to figure out the big news!
You could also do fun gifts like a Christmas ornament, a puzzle, or a “we’re expecting” message in the bottom of a coffee mug. (Need more inspiration? The Bump has 60 creative ways to announce your pregnancy.)
Share your big news with US! The team at Tennessee Family Doulas would love to hear about your pregnancy and join you on your journey!